Ever said the phrase, “kill two birds with one stone?”

Well, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) wants to change the way America speaks.  They are on a new crusade to change all idioms and turns of phrase that they deem to be “anti-animal.”

This includes the following substitutions

  • Instead of “kill two birds with one stone” PETA suggests, “feed two birds with one scone”
  • Instead of “bring home the bacon,” PETA suggests, “bring home the bagels.”
  • Instead of, “be the guinea pig,” PETA suggests, “be the test tube.”
  • Instead of, “beat a dead horse,” PETA suggests “feed a fed horse.”
  • Instead of, “take the bull by the horns,” PETA suggests, “take the flower by the thorns.”

Hogwash! This is one of the most comical things I’ve read this week.

“Just as it became unacceptable to use racist, homophobic, or ableist language, phrases that trivialize cruelty to animals will vanish as more people begin to appreciate animals for who they are and start ‘bringing home the bagels’ instead of the bacon,” the tweet from PETA announcing this new endeavor said.

That really gets my goat.  Here’s a little known fact about the animal kingdom: they cannot understand English idioms.  Even if words can hurt the feelings of humans, they can’t hurt the feelings of animals…  because they don’t understand what is being said.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go read “To Kill a Mockingbird,” before PETA insists that we do a nation-wide book burning.

Image Credit: Pixabay

About The Author

Mark Meckler

Mark was a co-founder of the Tea Party Patriots, and served as the national coordinator. He left the organization to work more broadly on expanding the self-governance movement beyond the partisan divide. Mark appears regularly on television in outlets as diverse as MSNBC, ABC, NBC, Fox News, CNN, Bloomberg, Fox Business and the BBC. He’s highly sought after for the tea party perspective from print and electronic media outlets, from the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, L.A. Times, Washington Examiner, Politico and the The Hill. Mark blogs at MarkMeckler.com, and his opinion editorials regularly run in many of the leading political newspapers both on and offline. Mark has a BA in English from San Diego State University and graduated with honors from University of the Pacific, McGeorge School of Law in 1988. He practiced real estate and business law for almost a decade. For the last eleven years of his legal career he specialized in Internet advertising law. When not fighting for the future of our nation, Mark is an avid horseman, and lives in rural northern California with his wife Patty and two children.