Ladies, gentlemen, and all of my nonbinary readers, I’m happy to report that everything is on the up and up at the White House.

Everything is perfectly fine.

At last week’s White House Pride event, Old Glory took a backseat to the rainbow Pride flag—a flag for which precisely no one has died. Hundreds gathered on the lawns walked by Abraham Lincoln to extol the society-toppling sin of pride. At least one attendee, a transgender model, apparently thought the grounds an appropriate place to showcase “her” bare breasts.

Of course, some of you might deem such behavior “inappropriate,” to say the least. But do not worry, folks. This is what “progress” looks like.

At least, that is what the left wants you to think.

They want you to believe that they are our emancipators, freeing us from the bonds of bigotry and hatred. They want you to think they are extricating us from a Dark Age of intolerance.

In reality, they are destroying the greatest nation in human history. No biggie, right?

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If you are anything like me, you are almost certainly disgusted at the desecration of such no-longer-sacred grounds. Pardon the indecorous language, but it probably makes you want to puke rainbow glitter and wallow mournfully in it.

One can only imagine that the White House’s past inhabitants are rolling in their graves and for good reason. Is this really what they toiled for? The freedom to flaunt one’s nipples at the executive mansion? Good going, America.

According to one event speaker, those of us who are against LGBTQ+ pride “want to drag our country backwards.” I cannot help but agree—if, of course, by “backwards” she means “back to sanity.” If rainbow flags and “free the nipple” publicity stunts are what “progress” looks like, I’ll take regression any day.

To be fair, the White House has since condemned its breast-baring guest, Rose Montoya. “The behavior was simply unacceptable,” press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said on Tuesday, announcing that those who participated “will not be invited to future events.”

But the White House has no right to be shocked. No one on the left does. Once one opens Pandora’s Box of LGBTQ+ individualism, one has no right to be shocked about anything.

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This woke movement’s key tenet is that humans should be embraced for who they are; that we all deserve the freedom to “express ourselves.” For some, that freedom manifests itself in identifying as “faeriegender” and using “fae” and “pup” pronouns. For others, it’s dressing in drag for kids, self-marriage, or public nudity. On what grounds can the left call any of those acts “unacceptable”? To do so would violate leftism’s sacred first principle.

In response to the controversy, Montoya insisted that he simply wanted to live “in joy”—something that was actively encouraged of all White House guests that day.

“I had zero intention of trying to be vulgar or be profane in any way,” Montoya averred. “I was simply living in joy, living my truth and existing in my body.” And therein lies the problem.

“Living my truth” is an endless can of worms. If everyone was granted the right to live their truth, America would quickly become the most debauched, lawless, and bizarre society known to man. “Living my truth” would soon justify anything and everything. And who’s to say that it couldn’t?

The left has opened one of the most terrifying doors in human history, and there is no telling if we will ever recover from it. Indeed, we assuredly will not until we question, violate, and eradicate the terrible first principle on which modernity is founded. Far from being built on a rock, we stand on shifting sands. And these sands will ever only slide us into deeper and deeper madness.

That is why, dear reader, everything is far from fine in America today.

Jakob Fay is a staff writer for the Convention of States Project, a project of Citizens for Self-Governance.

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