I don’t often recommend LGBTQ books, nor do I regularly characterize modern works of literature as “excellent,” but Johnny the Walrus, the bestselling sensation that sent shockwaves through the literary community, is both LGBTQ and unquestionably excellent. And I can’t recommend it enough.

Penned by the estimable Matt Walsh, whose Fred Rogers-esque sweater and warm, fatherly voice confirm his very legit identity as a beloved children’s author, the book skyrocketed to fame, quickly earning its place at the top of Amazon’s LGBTQ+ charts (a high honor, indeed).

The riveting, 30-page novel tells the story of Johnny, a young boy who innocently pretends to be many imaginative things, including a walrus, until it is determined that he must no longer “pretend” to be a walrus; he must, in fact, “transition” to be a walrus.

Faced with this momentous, life-altering decision, young Johnny must choose if he will forever cast off his boyhood and take on the weighty onus of living life as a walrus. Spoiler alert; the answer is, of course, no.

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But to those who know Walsh not only as the brilliant littérateur who produces masterful works of fiction à la Lewis Carroll, Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle, but also as an open critic of transgenderism, it seems possible that the author may have more than walruses on his mind. In fact, one might argue that maybe, just maybe, the writer is actually drawing parallels to some major, social conundrum, and in doing so, discouraging the impressionable youth from embracing the identity of the proverbial walrus. Just maybe.

If you still can’t detect the smidgen of irony behind Johnny the Walrus, let me be clear; Matt Walsh thinks it is both absurd and harmful to indulge the delusion that children can physically become whatever they imagine they are. That boys can be girls and girls can be boys. And rather than seriously contend with that baseless notion, thus conferring upon it an undue sense of legitimacy, he has instead opted for treating it only with well-deserved dismissive mockery.

In a sense, he’s just counter-indoctrinating children back from the deception to basic truth and common sense.

“As any parent who has ventured into the children’s section at Barnes and Noble knows, the category has become totally flooded by left-wing propaganda,” he says. “Every other title on the shelf is “Anti-Racist Baby” or “I Am Jazz” or “Jacob’s New Dress” or “Charlie the Unicorn Has Two Mommies and Three Daddies” or whatever.”

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“For a long time, conservatives have essentially surrendered this ground to the Left, like it had surrendered almost everything else, allowing the Left to turn children’s books into vehicles for this cult-like brainwashing, without offering any response or alternative. But it’s time for that to change, which is why I have finally embraced my true calling as a children’s author — cardigan and all — and written my first work of children’s literature, “Johnny the Walrus.””

And it’s not just for the kids. In an age of scientific unreason, where leading “experts” insist that men can become pregnant and compete in women’s sports, who knew it would be an elementary picture book that would show superior intelligence and confound them all?

So, while the baffled literati scratch their heads in perplexion, the rest of the sane world will eagerly await the inevitable Johnny the Walrus film adaptation, and Matt Walsh will claim his undisputed place as the patriarch of literary masterminds and LGBTQ fiction.

Jakob Fay is a former intern and current SIA Coordinator for the Convention of States Project, a project of Citizens for Self-Governance.