The picture above is worth a thousand words, but all of the words that keep coming to me are stifled by the fact that I can’t stop laughing.   A Pennsylvania school district has decided to give its teachers miniature baseball bats for protection…  and they spent $1800 on these tiny, ineffectual, toys:

According to NBC News, the Millcreek Township School District was training about 500 teachers on what to do during a school shooting and handed out the 16-inch bats — about half the size of a regulation bat and unswingable in the usual way.

District Superintendent William Hall told WCIU, the NBC affiliate in Erie, that the bats are primarily “symbolic” but still defended them as usable weapons in a school-shooting situation.

“It is the last resort,” he said. “But, it is an option and something we want people to be aware of.”

A district elsewhere in Pennsylvania said in March that it would arm teachers with river rocks.

Jo Ellen Barish, president of Milcreek’s Parent Teacher Association, wasn’t impressed by her district’s miniature-bat plan either.

“It’s not going to make some shooter stop and say, ‘Hey, I probably shouldn’t go in and do this,’” she told NBC.

Pennsylvania PTA board member Bonnie Fagan was equally skeptical.

“Am I going to get out my bat that’s in a locked cabinet or my bucket of rocks or slide something under the door to lock it to stop someone?” she said. “How effective is any of this?”

Wait, these women are not impressed?  No one with eyes and a brain would be.  Everyone knows a little baseball bat is about as effective as a letter opener — maybe less, come to think of it — if a teacher found himself or herself in a dangerous situation.  However, Pennsylvania state law prohibits guns on all school property.

I mean, these little bats are painted black, which is at least something.  But if they really wanted them to look scary, they should put barrel shrouds on them.  That’s precisely what I’d want if someone was shooting at a bunch of kids. 

No… wait.  I might want a gun instead.


Hat Tip: Washington Times

Image Credit from the WT: Millcreek School District Superintendent William Hall told local reporters that bats like this one are a viable last resort for teachers in the event of having to battle school shooters. (WICU)



About The Author

Mark was a co-founder of the Tea Party Patriots, and served as the national coordinator. He left the organization to work more broadly on expanding the self-governance movement beyond the partisan divide. Mark appears regularly on television in outlets as diverse as MSNBC, ABC, NBC, Fox News, CNN, Bloomberg, Fox Business and the BBC. He’s highly sought after for the tea party perspective from print and electronic media outlets, from the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, L.A. Times, Washington Examiner, Politico and the The Hill. Mark blogs at, and his opinion editorials regularly run in many of the leading political newspapers both on and offline. Mark has a BA in English from San Diego State University and graduated with honors from University of the Pacific, McGeorge School of Law in 1988. He practiced real estate and business law for almost a decade. For the last eleven years of his legal career he specialized in Internet advertising law. When not fighting for the future of our nation, Mark is an avid horseman, and lives in rural northern California with his wife Patty and two children.

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