Michigan State Orders Student Employees Not to Say ‘I Apologize’

Remember how the Fonz always struggled to apologize on Happy Days?  He couldn’t say “I’m sorry,” “I was wrong,” or “it was my fault” without ending up emitting some sort of incomprehensible guttural noise.  

That was before political correctness took hold of our collective consciousness.  Imagine how stuck he’d be now that there are all kinds of arbitrary rules that govern such sentences.  At Michigan State’s mandatory training on “Inclusive & Culturally Sensitive Service to Residents & Guests,” for example, the university instructed its student employees not to say, “I apologize” 

MSU Facilities Manager Sheena Ballbach explained this to Service Center employees using a chart that featured “triggers” and “calmers.”  The College Fixhas the scoop:

“I apologize” is offensive, whereas “I am truly sorry” is not. (Maybe some customers can’t understand four-syllable words.) “It’s our policy” should be “here’s what we can do.” Never start a sentence with “but” – it should be “and.”

Even the standard “no problem” should be “you’re welcome, it was my pleasure,” according to Ballbach, because the former implies the customer is “an inconvenience to you.”

In other words, student employees are instructed to speak less directly and more euphemistically.

This is really a headscratcher.  It’s like Michigan State believes that the biggest cultural problem is a sincere show of remorse.

But, of course, there are other Very Big Mistakes to avoid.

There were the ever-present warnings not to “gender” a person by using words like “sir,” “ma’am,” or the pronouns “he” or “she.”  Additionally, she encouraged students not to say the word “but,” because it’s triggering.  Instead, always use “and.”

There’s a lot to unpack here.  The destruction of the language is more dangerous than most realize, and colleges are ground zero.  

Their Orwellian reasoning is very simple: Control language, control thought.  Control thought, control people.

Here’s a word that might be triggering to Michigan State faculty members.  This is not only an affront to free speech, it’s disgusting.

Image Credit: SBTL1 on Flickr

Hat Tip: The College Fix